stories of women
Once upon a time, there lived three women in a lifetime. As an outsider who observes the life of these three women, I can’t help but pose this question:
What happens when women get married?
I emphasise women because I am a woman. I wouldn’t know what it’s like for a man to get married.
So this is the story of a woman who isn’t ready, a woman who is freshly facing it, and a woman who overgave.
The woman who isn’t ready.
She had some children and a yielding (now ex) husband. Her ex-husband’s family painted her in a bad light due to her neglectful attitude towards her nucleus family. Understandably, she has duties and responsibilities to fulfill.
One is never wholly for oneself once you are married. You have to sacrifice a big part of yourself for your new family. They need you.
Even so, I still sympathise a bit for her — I share her dreams of being a creative practitioner; a writer, so I feel like we share similar traits.
I am afraid… of becoming like her. What if I’m too invested in my passion that I became selfish and neglectful?
That in the end, is it actually… that I’m better off on my own rather than having my own family?
The woman who is freshly facing it
He is a kind husband…
the baby was crying. The woman calmly took her from my aunt’s arm, cradling her in the nook of her arm. The baby latched onto the mother’s breast and drank hungrily.
Welcome to motherhood. The world where both you and your husband won’t get enough rest, the land where your body goes out of shape, you and him trying to make ends meet with work arrangements, finance, who’s going to look after the baby, your siblings, your parents!! Etc etc etc.
I squirmed.
We came when her husband just got off work. He tested the baby’s milk. Helped around the house. They are a team… and I felt touched and relieved because
… he is a kind husband.
The woman who overgave
Lastly, the woman who gave and gave that she forgot to save some for herself.
She sacrificed and is still sacrificing for her family that it’s painful. It’s scary. And it’s sorrowful.
It makes you think and feel… is this something I must do too for my family? Is this inheritable?
Must women give her all once she got married? All that none are left for herself..?
The question now, seems like it’s jeering at me: what happens if or when I get married…?
